IN LOVING MEMORY OF THE GREATEST DRINKING RULES WEBSITE TO EVER EXIST,
DRINKING CINEMA, WE HAVE BELOW TRANSCRIBED THEIR CLASSIC RULES FOR THIS CLASSIC MOVIE. ENJOY:
- Someone checks a patient’s vital signs. Checking for vital signs might mean simply feeling for a pulse. But more often than not, it’s timing how long it takes for a re-animated corpse to spring to enraged life and smash you into a wall.
- You see the RE-AGENT! Note: For freshness, please store unused re-agent in a mini-fridge after opening.
- Someone is not using proper scientific method. Mr. West, I know you are still a medical student, but would it KILL you to don some gloves before injecting that severed head?
- You witness RE-ANIMATION! Drink twice if someone (or something) needs two injections to get ‘em going. This is still a developing field, and the correct amounts of glow-stick goo needed have yet to be determined.
- Herbert West plays by his own rules. Drink anytime you witness Mr. West’s smug contempt for his superiors, a disdain for bubble-headed co-eds, or an utter lack of concern for other people’s pets. He doesn’t give a FUCK. He’ll kill you just to re-animate the shit out of you.
- A character indulges in some good-natured gallows humor.
- Someone uses an unconventional weapon. Re-animation is an experimental field, and sometimes you have to improvise. You know what they say, when life gives you lemons, push a medical bone saw through someone’s chest.
- Professor Hill starts creeping on a co-ed. A tip for the ladies: When Dr. Hill says he’s “always admired your beauty,” he means he’s always wanted to have his headless body push his severed re-animated head onto your boobies.
- You see a HEAD EMOTING. Despite what cruel stereotypes will have you believe, severed heads can express a full range of emotion, from boiling rage to pervy ogling. All they ask for is a few pints of fresh blood and a basin.
Bonus Drinks:
- Drink every time there is gratuitous nudity. Take a shot of RE-AGENT (a.k.a. Hypnotiq + pineapple juice) every time you see gratuitous re-animated corpse nudity.
- “OVERDOSE!!” Inject nearest person with re-agent!! (or, if alone, finish your beer)
THESE RULES ARE PERFECT AS-IS, BUT IF YOU'RE STILL THIRSTY WE'VE COMPILED THE SHORT LIST BELOW OF SUPPLEMENTAL RULES:
- whenever someone says the words “brain”, “dead”, or “mister"
- someone is dismembered
- someone dies
Don't worry, they'll get better
- They've got chemistry
And not just in the field of reanimation, if you know what I mean
Drink every time Dr. West is just a little too "European"
House Rules that Apply
- Nudity
Because this is redundant after Drinking Cinema's rule, just consider this the Michael Bay rule - which is to say, drink every time you see honest to god dead as disco corpse tits
- Drink when they drink
- "Daddy" issues
Drink every time Megan (college student) says "daddy"
Not to victim blame, but this might be why John Kerry lookalike thought he had a shot
- Birdemic (for the fucking bio dorks out there)
That's not how lividity works
- Weird sexual vibes
This is limited to Dr. Hill's interactions. There's nothing strange about whatever Dr. West and Mr. Cain have going on.