Re-Animator (1985)

IN LOVING MEMORY OF THE GREATEST DRINKING RULES WEBSITE TO EVER EXIST, DRINKING CINEMA, WE HAVE BELOW TRANSCRIBED THEIR CLASSIC RULES FOR THIS CLASSIC MOVIE. ENJOY:
  1. Someone checks a patient’s vital signs. Checking for vital signs might mean simply feeling for a pulse. But more often than not, it’s timing how long it takes for a re-animated corpse to spring to enraged life and smash you into a wall.
  2. You see the RE-AGENT! Note: For freshness, please store unused re-agent in a mini-fridge after opening.
  3. Someone is not using proper scientific method. Mr. West, I know you are still a medical student, but would it KILL you to don some gloves before injecting that severed head?
  4. You witness RE-ANIMATION! Drink twice if someone (or something) needs two injections to get ‘em going. This is still a developing field, and the correct amounts of glow-stick goo needed have yet to be determined.
  5. Herbert West plays by his own rules. Drink anytime you witness Mr. West’s smug contempt for his superiors, a disdain for bubble-headed co-eds, or an utter lack of concern for other people’s pets. He doesn’t give a FUCK. He’ll kill you just to re-animate the shit out of you.
  6. A character indulges in some good-natured gallows humor.
  7. Someone uses an unconventional weapon. Re-animation is an experimental field, and sometimes you have to improvise. You know what they say, when life gives you lemons, push a medical bone saw through someone’s chest.
  8. Professor Hill starts creeping on a co-ed. A tip for the ladies: When Dr. Hill says he’s “always admired your beauty,” he means he’s always wanted to have his headless body push his severed re-animated head onto your boobies.
  9. You see a HEAD EMOTING. Despite what cruel stereotypes will have you believe, severed heads can express a full range of emotion, from boiling rage to pervy ogling. All they ask for is a few pints of fresh blood and a basin.

Bonus Drinks:

  1. Drink every time there is gratuitous nudity. Take a shot of RE-AGENT (a.k.a. Hypnotiq + pineapple juice) every time you see gratuitous re-animated corpse nudity.
  2. “OVERDOSE!!” Inject nearest person with re-agent!! (or, if alone, finish your beer)
THESE RULES ARE PERFECT AS-IS, BUT IF YOU'RE STILL THIRSTY WE'VE COMPILED THE SHORT LIST BELOW OF SUPPLEMENTAL RULES:
  1. whenever someone says the words “brain”, “dead”, or “mister"
  2. someone is dismembered
  3. someone dies
      Don't worry, they'll get better
  4. They've got chemistry
      And not just in the field of reanimation, if you know what I mean
      Drink every time Dr. West is just a little too "European"

House Rules that Apply

  1. Nudity
      Because this is redundant after Drinking Cinema's rule, just consider this the Michael Bay rule - which is to say, drink every time you see honest to god dead as disco corpse tits
  2. Drink when they drink
  3. "Daddy" issues
      Drink every time Megan (college student) says "daddy"
      Not to victim blame, but this might be why John Kerry lookalike thought he had a shot
  4. Birdemic (for the fucking bio dorks out there)
      That's not how lividity works
  5. Weird sexual vibes
      This is limited to Dr. Hill's interactions. There's nothing strange about whatever Dr. West and Mr. Cain have going on.