Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)

In loving memory of the greatest drinking rules website to ever exist, Drinking Cinema, we have below transcribed their classic rules for this classic movie. Enjoy:

  1. It becomes apparent that a) giant boobs are hard to control, b) 1980's bra elastic was not meant to withstand 1980's action movies, or c) Andy Sidaris directed this film.
  2. A character helpfully fills us in on what's happening in the movie while it's happening in the movie. Maybe "needless narration" is a bit harsh -- with all the action in Hard Ticket to Hawaii (see Rule #1), it's easy to see how you got distracted.
  3. You hear a really bad joke. If you don't think the joke is bad, then congrats! You are a 98% match with Andy Sidaris on EHarmony.com! Hope you are ready for your first date, because he is already inside your house.
  4. Someone obviously didn't watch that hilarious PowerPoint tutorial my boss distributed and displays blatant sexual harassment in the workplace.
  5. You see the Stony-Faced Psycho, a.k.a. "Botox Boy," a.k.a. that weird bad guy who talks without moving his face. He is a hero of mine.
  6. You see the snake! Fun fact: three different snakes played the part of "Slimy" in Hard Ticket. Snake A had all the speaking parts, Snake B did the nude scenes, and Snake C did all his own stunts -- including the one where Ronn Moss shoots him with a rocket launcher! (R.I.P. Snake C)
  7. Someone uses a weapon in a way it was never meant to be used. (See: throwing a sword like a dart; tossing nunchucks; shooting a rocket launcher indoors.)

Bonus Drinks

  1. FINISH YOUR BEER for the infamous skateboard/handstand/sex doll/rocket launcher scene! Trust us, you can't miss it.
  2. Think you can throw? Have a fellow "thrower" sling you a beer and then chug it for the Razor-Frisbee death

These rules are perfect as-is, but if you're still thirsty we've compiled the short list below of supplemental rules:

  1. Monochrome outfits
  2. James Bond references

Bonus Rules

  1. Needle drop on that sick theme song
  2. You actuall, genuinely, learn a fun biology factoid from this movie.

House Rules that Apply

  1. Nudity
      Yes, this is redundant. Yes, it bears repeating
  2. Drink when they drink
  3. Chekhov's drink
  4. Bechtel test
      It's so hard to believe that this movie passes the Bechtel test that it literally took us a whole week to realize it had. Which is crazy. Drink up.

Double Secret Bonus Drinks

  1. Double feature with Sidaris's Tour de Force Do or Die and drink every time a prop or set is reused